by Jemi Fraser
I haven't talked about queries for a while here, so I thought I'd jump back in the pool with 3 things I've found DON'T work.
No No #1
Describing your story.
The Fellowship of the Ring is an epic adventure set in Middle Earth-a land of hobbits, wizards, elves and dwarfs. When an unlikely hero inherits an heirloom of awesome power he sets out to destroy it. Along the way he discovers life is more than second breakfasts and friendship is the most powerful weapon of all.
LotR is one of my favourite stories - definitely NOT yawn worthy! Don't tell your story, show it. Start with your main character and the trouble he/she faces. Draw us in!
No No #2
When Jonah Williams discovers a talking salamander named Leopold, he can't decide if he's losing his mind or about to make a fortune. When Leopold decides Starlight, the pet frog of Jonah's nemesis Charlie is his true love, Jonah needs to act quickly. Enlisting best friends Shari and Kyle, Jonah concocts a plan sure to not only bring him fame and fortune, but keep Leopold a single salamander heartthrob forever.
Okay, obviously that one's made up and way over the top, but limit yourself to the bare minimum when naming characters in a query. The main character (or characters if it's a romance) and the villain are the most important. If someone else is mentioned, try to stick to an identifier instead (his mother, her publicist, the police officer...).
No No #3
From reading your fabulous and helpful blog, I know you're interested in Mermaid Gothic Romances. I want to thank you for taking the time to help new writers like myself. Working with you would be an incredible opportunity and I hope you feel Fin's Castle would fit your wonderful list.
*shudder* No one likes a suck up. Keep it real and honest. Be yourself.
Hope those help you out a bit! Do you have another Query No No to add?
Jemi Fraser is an aspiring author of contemporary romance. She blogs and tweets while searching for those